Bootycall.
I wish I were kidding.
This phone number has been calling me off and on for a few weeks. Sometimes once, sometimes thrice a week. I haven’t answered, because I don’t know the number.
Yesterday, I answered.
“Hello, Auburn* speaking”…
Silence.
More silence.
*beeeeeeeep*
Hang up on me. Whatever.
Text alert: Hey babe. You awake?
Me: Yes… (thinking, Duh…you just rang me arsehat…)
Texter: How are you? What are you doing?
Me: I’m really sorry, my phone recently lost half of its numbers and I am not sure whose number this is…
Texter: Oh that hurts…Still want you though!
Me: Wasn’t meant to hurt, it’s true. So…?
Texter: So I still want you.
Me: Who is this?
Texter: So you want to have sex?
Me: Who the hell is this?
Texter: It’s Dave, you dick!
Me: I know a couple of Dave’s, none of whom I would be expecting to booty call me! Give me a surname. (So I know who to rat out with this shit.)
Texter: Forget it.
Me: My boss is a Dave. My brother’s mate is a Dave. It’s not exactly a rare name. Who is this?
Texter: Nah, forget it. Bad idea.
Okay, I forget it. Whatever. I don’t reply.
Texter: I just wanted sex anyway.
Me: (seething) You can’t want sex that bad if you can’t even tell me who you are. And the way to a girl’s ANYTHING is not through calling her a dick. For future reference.
Texter: No sex for you then, Dick!
I have never given my number to a Dave. I don’t give my number out like that anyway, so I am absolutely baffled. I dated an American called Dave six years ago, but he is long gone back to the States, we aren’t in contact and it’s a different mobile number anyway.
I didn’t reply to that immaturity. I didn’t bite. And he’s calling me a dick. Pft.
I want to know who the hell it is though. I think I’ll wait a day or two then call him from a private number.
I’m taking bets as to whether it’s a scrawny 12yo or a wheezing 70yo.
This phone number has been calling me off and on for a few weeks. Sometimes once, sometimes thrice a week. I haven’t answered, because I don’t know the number.
Yesterday, I answered.
“Hello, Auburn* speaking”…
Silence.
More silence.
*beeeeeeeep*
Hang up on me. Whatever.
Text alert: Hey babe. You awake?
Me: Yes… (thinking, Duh…you just rang me arsehat…)
Texter: How are you? What are you doing?
Me: I’m really sorry, my phone recently lost half of its numbers and I am not sure whose number this is…
Texter: Oh that hurts…Still want you though!
Me: Wasn’t meant to hurt, it’s true. So…?
Texter: So I still want you.
Me: Who is this?
Texter: So you want to have sex?
Me: Who the hell is this?
Texter: It’s Dave, you dick!
Me: I know a couple of Dave’s, none of whom I would be expecting to booty call me! Give me a surname. (So I know who to rat out with this shit.)
Texter: Forget it.
Me: My boss is a Dave. My brother’s mate is a Dave. It’s not exactly a rare name. Who is this?
Texter: Nah, forget it. Bad idea.
Okay, I forget it. Whatever. I don’t reply.
Texter: I just wanted sex anyway.
Me: (seething) You can’t want sex that bad if you can’t even tell me who you are. And the way to a girl’s ANYTHING is not through calling her a dick. For future reference.
Texter: No sex for you then, Dick!
I have never given my number to a Dave. I don’t give my number out like that anyway, so I am absolutely baffled. I dated an American called Dave six years ago, but he is long gone back to the States, we aren’t in contact and it’s a different mobile number anyway.
I didn’t reply to that immaturity. I didn’t bite. And he’s calling me a dick. Pft.
I want to know who the hell it is though. I think I’ll wait a day or two then call him from a private number.
I’m taking bets as to whether it’s a scrawny 12yo or a wheezing 70yo.
posted by auburn at 12:43 PM
10 Comments:
See, you should state with hostility, and if he doesn't reply to the first inquiry of who he is, block him then and there.
Or track him down and hit him with a stick.
Wow.
How did you loose all those numbers?
And how does this guy expect you to react to such a call/text?
I actually have one that's worse. My friend got text messages from an escort service. They found out he liked porn, however thats done, and they bombarded him with texts.....
Well, lets just say his girlfriend wasn't pleased when she checked his phone.
It's neither. It's an insurance salesman trying to get you relaxed-after-text-sex-orgasm so you'll buy his shit.
Beware modern sales tactics.
I'm banking on the 70yo, because those old bastards are crazy!
Picture if you will, Boca Raton, florida. 5 seventy year old men sitting in at a card table complaining about their wives. They dial a random number over and over again, because they thought it was their kids. But when they found out it wasn't they become juvenile and play their silly little game. Aww old people they crack me up!
it's me. sorry. i got spooked and used a fake name and then couldn't come up witha surname on the spot like that. sorry.
Haha I get so funny when I'm drunk.
Thanks for trying to cover for me Chud, you lovely bastard, but I'll own up for my immaturity..
haha Wow....so did you call it to find out? enquiring minds wanna know hehehe
I betting wheezing old man......ewww.
But I agree with coyote mike, track him down and hit with stick.
;)
Yeah, come on - what happened when you called the number?
Dave's probably not their name at all, so hopefully you didn't ask for Dave ... that would have given away who you were.
But let us know what went down!!
:)
wow. I once had some random guy texting me and after about 15 texts asked if he could 'tick me in' for the night.
I don't know why but this shit happens alot. I'm good at saying no.
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